C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
