nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
