Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
