shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
