Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
