did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
