I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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