I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
