And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
