this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
