And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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