Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
