Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
