i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
