My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize