I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
