I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
