highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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