Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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