Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
