I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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