he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
