yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
