i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Randomize
