Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize