What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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