Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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