Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
