Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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