Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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