and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
