I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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