I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
