i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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