I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
