so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it's like iHOP with fire
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You dont lie about slip and slides
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
