No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
