So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so let's talk penis.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
