Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
