At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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