So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
