i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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