Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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