When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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