Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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