you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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