I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
