I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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