After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
