That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize