There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize