I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
