Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
