Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
