I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
