I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
