You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
