In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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