They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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