I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
