the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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