Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
