that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
