Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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