i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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