Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize