God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
